Humble Pie and I

"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's just thinking of yourself less often." C.S. Lewis

      I get it now, God. Forgive me for being a slow learner. I must be humble. 

My job is a job of service. I clean homes to contribute to the needs of my family. This is not the type of job I envisioned for myself, I supposed to do something creative; express myself artistically. God tells me I must wait, I must first learn how to be humble and serve others. I had an easy life up until several years ago, and I neglected to appreciate the life I had. I was a stay-at-home mom, and lady of leisure. Prudent, not I. I was the wind, flighty and shifty. The only thing that grounded me was my children. I wanted to be the best mom I could be and give my kids every opportunity at success. I would shift into mommy position, then to me position, mommy, me, mommy, me. My barometer did not pick up my husband. I'd see him in my forecast, but he was death to my wind-he was the windbreaker, so I'd shift my course. 

     My husband is a logical man. And I so needed him for balance. But I would not hear his insightful words of wisdom. "We need to budget, we need to be consistent, we need to plan for the future", he would say. 

I would agree...then get back to me. 

     Oh! the things that consumed my life back then! How silly and insignificant they were. Tennis, shopping, indulging in gossip and drama, filled up my daytime activities. Once the kids got home from school....I'd hyper focus on them. Yes, God ....I am getting it! Of course, I would have to "walk through" these hard times to see just how crooked my path was. And I thank Him for holding my hand as I "walk through". God welcomed me into His Grace, strengthening me in every step. I asked God to help me, and I know that He is. As I was cleaning a home yesterday, He revealed to my heart that I am learning to be humble. I am not the girl with the latest fashions anymore. I am not the girl who gets her hair done every six weeks, anymore. I don't have time to focus on me anymore. As I look into the mirror, I see the change. I am not the kept woman I once was. I am stripped of vanity, and back to basics. This is my lesson. Be humble.

    When I think of how long we have been in this financially deficient state, I realize that God is waiting for my lessons to fully take root in my heart. It's easy to realize a lesson being taught and think, "oh I get it now"; but to walk through that lesson daily for some time, gives truth and staying power to the lesson. God knows I am stubborn, so I am sure he wants to make sure I will not return to my foolish ways. And learning to be humble is just one lesson, of many He is teaching me.